Alas, I am not a teenage girl.
I know…shocker, right?
You know how I know this?
Because I don’t find Robert Pattinson attractive.
That’s it. Ignore my school age children, my grey hairs, etc. I know that I am not a teenage girl based solely on this fact.
I try to think he’s good looking. I keep looking at him, thinking, “hmm, I guess he’s okay looking…” but then on a double take he suddenly looks worse. The fact that I don’t find him attractive makes me feel like I am on the outside of an inside joke that the rest of the world gets except me.
Anyway, the funniest thing about this is, is that while I may not find Robert Pattinson attractive, apparently I would be starstruck by him if I ever met him (I admit this begrudgingly btw).
You know how I know this?
Because I met his doppelgänger the other day and I blushed. Blushed! WTF?
He looked so much like Pattinson that my stomach filled with nervous butterflies, like it always does when I am in the presence of someone famous. It was so ridiculous, because he was just some 17-year-old kid. And it wasn’t because I thought he was cute. Firstly, because he was a kid (I have to throw that disclaimer in there) and secondly because, as I said, I don’t actually find Robert Pattinson attractive.
The whole thing was maddening.
So what did I do? I decided to try to rip myself out of my pseudo-starstruck coma by talking to him.
OK, I guess I sorta had to talk to him because he was making my sandwich at the time. (Robert Pattinson’s doppelganger works at the sandwich shop by my house). But beyond that, I noticed that the music playing on the radio in the shop was really good and I thought it’d be a good topic to lead with.
The song was oddly familiar, yet new at the same time, and I knew at once that whatever it was–I HAD to have it. I was already making plans to go home and download it.
So I asked him. “What is this?”
To which he stared at me blankly, probably thinking something like “It’s a sandwich, lady. What does it look like?”
When I clarified what I was asking, he still wore a dumb look, so I asked him to go in the back and look up the title and artist for me. Which he did. He was a very good sport. 😉
Anyway–I am pretty sure Robert Pattinson’s doppelganger (the one who works at the sandwich shop by my house) was stoned. As were his co-sandwich makers. And they screwed our sandwich order up something awful. But I forgave him in the end, because he reconnected me with a long lost musical love…BECK. The song that was on was:
Thank you Robert Pattinson’s doppelganger. Your sandwich making skills (and your looks) leave something to be desired, but your taste in music rocks.