You know you aren’t a teenage girl when…

teenage girlAlas, I am not a teenage girl.

I know…shocker, right?

You know how I know this?

*sigh*

Because I don’t find Robert Pattinson attractive.

That’s it. Ignore my school age children, my grey hairs, etc.  I know that I am not a teenage girl based solely on this fact.

I try to think he’s good looking.  I keep looking at him, thinking, “hmm, I guess he’s okay looking…” but then on a double take he suddenly looks worse.  The fact that I don’t find him attractive makes me feel like I am on the outside of an inside joke that the rest of the world gets except me.

Anyway, the funniest thing about this is, is that while I may not find Robert Pattinson attractive, apparently I would be starstruck by him if I ever met him (I admit this begrudgingly btw).

You know how I know this?

Because I met his doppelgänger the other day and I blushed. Blushed! WTF?

He looked so much like Pattinson that my stomach filled with nervous butterflies, like it always does when I am in the presence of someone famous. It was so ridiculous, because he was just some 17-year-old kid. And it wasn’t because I thought he was cute. Firstly, because he was a kid (I have to throw that disclaimer in there) and secondly because, as I said, I don’t actually find Robert Pattinson attractive.

The whole thing was maddening.

So what did I do? I decided to try to rip myself out of my pseudo-starstruck coma by talking to him.

OK,  I guess I sorta had to talk to him because he was making my sandwich at the time. (Robert Pattinson’s doppelganger works at the sandwich shop by my house). But beyond that, I noticed that the music playing on the radio in the shop was really good and I thought it’d be a good topic to lead with.

The song was oddly familiar, yet new at the same time, and I knew at once that whatever it was–I HAD to have it. I was already making plans to go home and download it.

So I asked him. “What is this?”

To which he stared at me blankly, probably thinking something like “It’s a sandwich, lady. What does it look like?”

When I clarified what I was asking, he still wore a dumb look, so I asked him to go in the back and look up the title and artist for me. Which he did.  He was a very good sport. 😉

Anyway–I am pretty sure Robert Pattinson’s doppelganger (the one who works at the sandwich shop by my house) was stoned. As were his co-sandwich makers. And they screwed our sandwich order up something awful. But I forgave him in the end, because he reconnected me with a long lost musical love…BECK.  The song that was on was:

Bondfire Blondes

Thank you Robert Pattinson’s doppelganger.  Your sandwich making skills (and your looks) leave something to be desired, but your taste in music rocks.

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2 thoughts on “You know you aren’t a teenage girl when…

  1. *waves* Hey HW! Good to see you. At least you get what I was trying to say in this post, LOL. When my husband read it, he narrowed his eyes at me and said “so…you think Robert Pattinson is cute, huh?” LOL.
    But unfortunately I have to disagree with you, Taylor Lautner–also not cute! Damn, I can’t seem to find a camp anywhere…: )

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